In order to say something clever about my digital collage above, “COMMITTEE MEETING” I did a Google search on committee meeting humor, and while I found plenty of examples, none of them were…funny. That is because unless it is a business meeting of chimps, there IS NO HUMOR in a committee meeting. They can be boring, excruciating, painful, stressful, endless, useless, terrifying…but never ever funny. As a teacher I sat through many committee meetings. The only useful ones dealt with an actual child or maybe curriculum ideas. I have been required to address all the following at various committee meetings: which way to hang the toilet paper in the stalls, over or under; what items are not allowed in the microwave (fish, popcorn, science experiments); whether or not boys could wear hats on campus in cold weather and if so, how cold?; the issue of banning glitter schoolwide; whether to wash the plastic party utensils or discard them; whether to use Mrs. or Ms. on letters home and other similar issues. The absolute worst committee meetings would happen every ten years when the school would be up for certification. We would have meetings to get ready for meetings. At one school we used an entire planning day to write a two-sentence mission statement (not to be confused with philosophy). This particular session resulted in lifelong enmities, torn apart by comma placement.
The piece above is a very flat, two-dimensional work based on a vintage photo I had in my memento box. I have no idea who these very bored women were. You know it was an important ladies’ event because all are wearing hats and gloves. I never got a chance to attend a hat-and-glove meeting; they were before my time. Hats and gloves were part of Sunday School, but had faded into the 1960’s by the time I was old enough to sit in a committee meeting. When I look at this, first I can almost smell the perfumes mixing in the close room. Next, I wonder what was behind each woman’s placid expression. Which one despised the leader? Whose bra was too tight? Who had eaten beans for dinner and was now pressing cheeks under that girdle? That is the mystery of art. You can provide your own answers. What I do know is they all wished they were somewhere else.
A camel looks like a horse that was planned by a committee. ~Author Unknown